So my boyfriend and I were emailing eachother since he's at work.  He asks me if I want to go to the bar tonight since its my b-day.  He says that he doesn't have any money so I would have to pay for the both of us.  I said no and then changed my mind.  I decided that I wanted to go to this bar right down the street cause they are the only one's around here that serve "Red Hoe" (great drink), and he says no that he wants to go to this small bar that's 20 mins away.  Then he tells me that his mom is coming over tonight to see the cats b/c she hasn't seen them yet and that I need to clean the house better than I usually do.  What the hell?  I'm not trying to be a brat or anything but today's my day.  Shouldn't I get something?  Don't I deserve to pick what bar I want to go to?  For goodness sake I have to pay!  Grrrrrrr!  Apparently he doesn't care about my b-day.  I don't get one day of the year the I can say "this is my day".  Everyday is his day.  This really sucks!

Sundays suck period!  I scrubbed the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room.  Take that Matt (my boyfriend) for telling me that I am lazy.  I loved it today after he left.  I did what I wanted w/o listening to him bitch.  I watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.  Then unfortunately he got here half an hour ago and I've been up here on the computer since.  It snowed like crazy earlier for about an hour.  I couldn't even see the house across the street.  I wish it would have snowed like that all night.  I am so bored right now.  Nothing to do, to early to go to bed, almost out of cigs, no car, no job, no life.  Grrrrr!  If it wasn't for that whore Jaime accusing me of harrassing her and getting me fired from my job cause I took Matt of off her, I would have a car, a job, and probably my own place and I would be talking about something happy now.  She wanted Matt so badly and when him and I broke up he decided that he would give her a chance and then him and I started talking again and he dropped her like a bad habit and that's when the problems started.  She was always saying that I was doing this and that at work and getting me wrote up.  The managers somehow found out that I was bipolar and the last time she complained about me they fired me.  Just because I'm bipolar doesn't mean that everything that goes on around me is my fault.  I hate it when people think that!  Its always the bipolar one and noone else.  And I'm not just talking about me either, its all people who are bipolar.  Everyone is always like "you can control it".  No, I can't, its really hard to control and anyone who is bipolar knows that.  Its easier for someone who is calm to control themselves and because of that they think that everyone should be able to control themselves.  I'm bipolar II, manic depressent, and I have this thing where stuff is always running through my mind (I forget what its called).  I have taken so much medication and the only thing that it has done for me is make me gain weight.  The first year that I went on the meds I went from a size 7 to a size 18 in a matter of 6 months and noone believes me and they always ask my parents if its true and my parents always have to assure them that it is true.  It sucked! I used to be a vegetarian but when I went on the meds I totally started craving meat.  I finally lost all the weight but have gained some of it back over the last year but I got myself excercising and losing the weight.  My therapist told me when I was going to her to write down my feelings and that would help.  Well, I can't write them down cause Matt is so nosy and goes through my stuff so I decided that I would start blogging and it has helped.  Just like the Cosimo thing, I started thinking about him but after I blogged about my story I felt so much better and I haven't even thought about him.  Well, I'm done for now.

Toodles!

I just love the movie "White Christmas" with Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney.  It never feels like Christmas unless I watch it.  I'm watching it right now actually.  Yesterday while I was playing on the computer I was listening to Bing Crosby.  My favorite song is "Do you hear what I hear?"  I know every word to the song.  This day just sucks other than that.  Yesterday morning my boyfriend and I got in a fight and haven't talked since except for when we got in a big fight this morning and he left.  He told me that I'm lazy and that I never do anything.  Grrrrrrr!  I hate this s**t.  I always clean this house and cook and do things for him.  He just pisses me off.  He said  that all I did yesterday was sit on my ass crocheting.  So I threw back at him that he knows that I never clean on Saturdays and that I have to clean every other day of the week and the only thing that he ever does all wk long after he gets home from work and on wknds is sit on his ass.  He told me that he works so he can sit on his ass, so I threw back at him that he sits on his ass at work.  He tried telling me that its a rough job.  Hello, I used to work there, and I know that its not a hard job.  The only thing that you do all day is sit at your desk and talk on the phone and the only time that you get up is if you have to go to the fax machine or printer.  Wow, walking to the fax machine or the printer must be hard work for him.  So, I told him that if he wasn't so fat it wouldn't be that hard getting up to go somewhere.  Afterwards he left and told me that he wanted me out and that if I wasn't out by the time he got back he was calling the cops on me so I told him to go right ahead cause I'm not leaving.  What an ass.  I can't wait to leave him.  As soon as I get this car assuming that the insurance rate doesn't go up like it did the last time I went to get the car, I'm getting two jobs and getting the f**k out of here.  Ok, enough bitching.

Toodles!

Well, I woke up at 6:30 this morning.  My boyfriend was getting ready for work cause he has to work early on Friday's.  I looked outside and there was so much snow and its snowing again.  The road around this block is covered and he had a heck of a time getting out the front door cause the snow was blocking it.  He left at 7 and where he had his truck parked is already covered back up.  I can't really do anything so I'm just having my coffee, watching tv, and crocheting.  The house is already cleaned and I can't go anywhere so this really sucks.  I guess the main roads aren't to to bad cause I heard the bus this morning.  Well, I have nothing else to talk about so I guess I'll go back downstairs and start crocheting again.

Toodles!

It is snowing like crazy here.  I just wish I had a hillside and sled so that I can go sled riding tomorrow.  It just started snowing a bit ago but it looks like its been snowing all day.  It's still coming down like crazy.  At times like this I wish that I was still in school just so that I don't have to go tomorrow.  Everything is covered and I just heard the plow guy going down the road.  If it keeps this up the kids in the neighborhood are going to be out playing tomorrow.  I'm gonna have to take my kitten out for a sec.  Not too long though, don't want him to get sick.  He just loves the snow.  On Thanksgiving I took him out for a sec cause he was pawing at the sliding glass door in the kitchen to get outside.  When I put him in the snow he just went nuts.  It was so funny.  This is his first winter so I can just imagine how he feels.  I heard on the news today that Penndot had all their trucks loaded and ready to go.  I can't wait to get up tomorrow to see what it looks like outside. 

Toodles!

While I was at work one day I got a call from a girl asking for Cosimo.  I asked who she was and she told me.  He went out with her a couple of times.  She told me when and I remebered the night that she said that she went out with him.  It was in July and he was gone all night.  He had his phone off all night long and didn't get back to my house till 2 in the morning.  Another time that they went out is when he went to Waynesburg on night after we moved in the house to get some stuff for the basement.  I confront Cosimo about it but he sd that she was lying.  Of course I didn't buy it.  I just let it go cause I didn't want any problems.  While Cosimo was in Kentucky training he would call me everynight after I got home from work.  One night I heard a girl laughing and I asked him about it and he sd that it was just the tv.  When he got home he asked me if I thought that he was stupid enough to call me if a girl was in his room.  I know it wasn't the tv.  You can tell when its the tv, and knowing Cosimo he would have the nerve to call with a girl in his room.  One day in October I got to leave wokr early and didn't call Cosimo to let him know cause my cousin said that he had girls there while I was at work.  Well, when I got home I wasn't surprised that he had two girls there.  I was furious and told the girls off and told them to get out of my house.  They had the nerve to give me an attitude and tell me that they weren't leaving so I grabbed both of them by the hair and got in their faces and told them that if they didn't leave I was calling the cops so they left.  Cosimo and I got into hot and heavy and he ended up punching the fireplace and breaking his hand.  I took him to the hospital and afterwards stayed at my parents house that night.  The next day when I talked to him he told me not to come home that night.  It was my house so I wasn't listening.  When I got off work I went home and there was another girl there.  I went in the house and flipped.  He told me that he was tired of the fighting and me accusing him all the time and that we were done.  I asked him what I was supposed to think, that every time I turned around he was with a girl or a girl was calling his phone.  I told him that the only time that we fought was when it dealt with a girl.  I told him that I wanted to stay in the house and that he had to leave but he went behind my back and told the landlord that I moved out.  That weekend I got all of my stuff and left.  I didn't call him at all and ended up meeting my current boyfriend.  Cosimo called me every once in awhile but i blew him off.  I just couldn't take it anymore.  The last time that I talked to him was a couple of wks ago and I blogged about it.  There for awhile I started thinking about him and started missing him but I started this story and now that I read it and see how he treated me and I left some stuff out to make the story shorter but remember that stuff I stopped thinking about him and I feel so much better.  So that's my story and I'm glad that I typed it. lol

 The End!

Backtrack........While I was at the hospital the day Justin first got burnt I called my supervisor and told him what happened and that I couldn't come back to work.  He sd that's fine to just stay with my family.  So Monday when I went in he gave me such a hard time and my friend Stephanie told me that my supervisor sd that he didn't believe me about what happened and that I was just trying to get out of work early b/c it was Friday.  So I calmly got a box and packed all of my stuff and walked out.  A couple of hours later the manager called me and asked what happened and I told him that my supervisor had no right to say that I was lying.  I told him that if they didn't belive me to call the Western Burn Center in Pittsburgh and ask if my brother was in there.  He sd that I should have come to him first and asked if I was coming back and I sd no.  I started my new job that night so I just didn't care.  I worked at my new job for a month and at the end of August Cosimo and I moved into our house that we rented.  I payed for it and we went out and bought all new furniture and had it all custom made and I was so excited.  The landlord took me to Lowe's to pick out the new carpeting for inside and outside on the front porch.  He had just bought the house and had just redid all of it.  He told us that we could do anything to it and he would just take it off our rent so Cosimo and I painted the living room and put a garden around the house.  It was so nice.  The house was pretty big and we had a big fenced in yard.  The only problem was that we had this eccentric old woman living beside us and she was always complaining about me coming home late.  We lived on a dead end street and I worked till midnight and didn't get home till 1am so I couldn't help it.  She complained about everything so Cosimo went out and bought a home theatre system and when we listened to music or watched tv we made sure to turn it up.  We went out and got a dog and named him Grizz and of course she complained about him too b/c her dog didn't like our dog.  There was a young couple that lived across the street and they were really nice so that made things a little better.  We lived beside the river in a small town away from our family and friends.  We just wanted to be by ourselves.  A couple of wks after we moved in Cosimo got a great job and he quit school.  He was going to further his degree in electrical engineering so he could make more money but hey, how could you pass up a job that payed $100k a year and you were doing what you were going to school to do?  He had to train in Kentucky for 3wks.  It was so lonely during the wk, but he was home on wknds and we spent all of our time together.  When we were finally done with everything the house was great and so cozy.  We finally called it home.

Justin got burnt on his arms, chest and face.  It was horrible.  I was so upset cause he's my baby brother.  I found out that when he went to the first hospital they told him that he was going to have to wait in the waiting room and when he went back to the room they told him that he was going to have to take his shirt off himself.  Ok, picture this, and its gross, his skin is hanging off his arms and his face and neck was black.  How stupid is that hospital?  Chris was going 90mph all the way to the hospital and Justin was in so much pain that he literally hung out the window to cool his arms down.  He was really bad for a couple of days,the doctors had to keep a close eye on him.  My mom being a nurse made sure that she took extra care of his face cause Justin was so worried about how he was going to look.  He had to get skin graphs and was in the hospital for a month.  After he got out he had to go on a strict diet.  He couldn't have water b/c of something that it does to burnt skin, he could only drink gatorade and had a list of foods that he had to eat everyday that was going to help his skin.  Nurses came to the house to do his treatments and my mom and I was constantly rubbing his arms down with a lotion that the doctors told us to use.  He could barely move his arms and could barely walk b/c they took skin from his thighs to put on his arms.  After his treatments he had to wear burn sleeves and to this day he is still wearing them.  His face is  now completely cleared up and his arms are going to be back to normal.  We made sure to do everything the doctors recommended so Justin wouldn't have any problems.  After all was said and done I found out that the reason the pipe surged was b/c Chris didn't bleed the line so it was full of gas.  I can be a real bitch when it comes to my brother so when I found this out I went straight down to Chris's house and beat the hell out of him.  I was pretty surprised that I did and so was everyone else b/c Chris is a big guy.  I figured that since I was so mad and the thought of loosing my brother, and that Chris was complaining b/c he had a few burns on his arms (burns that you could get from taking a pan out of the oven and hitting the top), and the nerve of him saying that even though Justin was in the hospital and he wasn't,  just gave me that extra strenght that I needed to fuck him up. 

Well today I went shopping and bought so much yarn its unbelievable.  I decided that since I don't have a lot of money this year that I was going to make everyone afghans since I learned how to crochet.  I bought decorations to finish my tree, ribbon to make bows and green garland to put outside around the windows.  I love doing crafts so I like to make all my decorations myself.  I got this great craft idea off one of the crocheting sites that I go to.  Its for candy canes and what you do is take red and white yarn and make bundles, wire hangers and shape them into candy canes then you tie the yarn bundles around it and there ya go.  Here it is 2:30 in the morning and I'm drinking coffee.  I have so much to do before Christmas.  I have to get the candy canes and bows done tonight then I have to start on my afghans.  I am going to be running off so little sleep that I don't know what to do.  Oh well, I can't go without buying or making presents for my friends and family.  I always fight with them b/c I don't want anything.  I think Christmas is about giving and not receiving and of course spending time with the family.  Well, my coffee cup is empty so I have to go downstairs to get more and finish my crafts. 

 Toodles!