I thought going back to work would be great but guess what, its so horrible.  I mean I really like the job and the people that I work with but it just sucks going to work everyday.  I work like everyday.  Oh well, at least I'm making money.

Well before I left for work today I logged into my email and guess what, I had a message from Cosimo at my other blog.  He told me that he's been trying to call me.  Said that he tried calling 5 times on friday.  I hear from him then I don't then I hear from him, etc.  It's non stop.  He just can't make up his mind what he is doing and its so irritating.  Does this guy think that I have no feelings?  Does he think that I'm completly fine with these games?  He says that he doesn't do it on purpose but yet he knows what he's doing and knows that its wrong.  Ok, why the hell do you keep doing it then?  Men are so complicated. 

Toodles!

I got a letter in the mail from the magistrate again.  Of course that skank Jamie is pressing charges against me again.  She said that I followed her from work a couple of weeks ago and beat her up in the shop n save parking lot.  She is even working with the district attorney.  She must think that she scares me.  Ok you stupid bitch, I got my car after this supposedly happened.  This is so ridiculous.  She just won't give up.  She can go ahead and work with the DA because I didn't have my car at the time.  She even knows what kind of car I drive which really pisses me off b/c somehow she found out.  I am so irritated right now that everyone is pissing me off b/c anyone could have told her what kind of car I drive.  This is so out of hand its not funny.  She has pressed charges against me once, got me fired from my job, started shit before I got fired, tole Matt that I was doing things that I wasn't doing, told people that she caught me with a guy one night which I can prove that I wasn't b/c my friend was here with me all night, and now she's doing this.  She is so pathetic that its not funny.  For god's sake she is 32 years old, living with her parents, going after a 29 year old and acting like a f**king teenager.  What makes me laugh is the fact that she is that old, doesn't have anyone already plus all the things that I just mentioned.  I was so sick at my stomach the day that I got the letter that I was hugging the toilet all day.  I really need to do something about this b/c I'm gonna end up in jail for something that I didn't even do.  The only sucky thing is is that I don't know what to do.  What ticks me off even more is that it is so weird that all of a sudden this harrassing s**t starts back up again once I get my car and get a job.  That bitch has it in her head that she can control my life.  Well, I've got news for her, she doesn't.  She better grow the f**k up or she's going to face some major charges against her; slander and harrassment.  This is all over me taking Matt back and him breaking up with her to be with me.  Obviously he didn't want her if he wanted to be with me.  He even told her that I was the one and that it could never be between them even if I wasn't in the picture.  This is going to stop.  I'm going to make sure of that.  Her biggest mistake was f**king with me in the first place b/c noone scares me not even the law.  I have already put one bitch in the hospital and I won't hesitate to do it again.  I gotta go b/c now I'm even more pissed.

Pathetic, Pathetic, Pathetic!

Toodles!

I was so excited about going to work today.  I got up at 6 this morning and fiddled around for two hours.  It was cool.  I got to meet a lot of the other employees and found out that I can really work my way up there.  I work tomorrow too but won't be on my own for two more weeks .  I haven't been in this good of a mood for a long time.  They told me that in the summer sometimes they get up to 9 busses in a day.  Wow, those will be some nice tip days.  Things should be getting back to normal for me within the next month which is totally awesome.  The people seem really nice and a lot of them are my age.  I think that once I get my bills caught back up I'm going to give my car a makeover.  New paint job, going to put a cd player in it, put in new headlights, and get it detailed professionally.  I won't have a car payment at all so I'm really gonna take care of this car so that I can keep it as long as I can.  I'm going to take it to a garage and have it totally looked over to make sure everything is good so that hopefully I won't have any problems for quite a while.  I'm so excited. Well, I think that I'm gonna go and get Matt and play some scrabble.

Toodles!

I wish I was a witch.  Yes, a witch.  Not a bad witch but a witch like Samantha Stevens.  Just twiddle my nose and waalaa anything I need, and everything done.  I hate cleaning the house, especially taking the vacuum apart and cleaning it, which I just did.  If I was a witch, it could be done in the snap of a finger.  I could even pop over to Paris to go shopping, take a ride in a gondala in Venice, or get a tan in California.  I could make my hair long in a snap and even shrink my boobs since everyone seems to dislike big boobs now.  That would be awesome.  I'm so bored right now that I was thinking about that and of course my shirt says that I'm a witch lol.  I just got done cleaning the house and now I have nothing to do.  I have to be easy with my money so I can't go anywhere.  I don't start work till Monday and everyone I know is at work.  I already excercised for a couple of hours this morning and even took a long walk earlier.  I finally got my sleep schedule back on track so I've been going to bed at a decent time and getting up at 6am.  I haven't had anything to eat in a couple of days and I've never felt better.  Ok, this is getting boring so I'm out.

Toodles!

I absolutely hate the city!  I took Matt to work yesterday.  He works in Pittsburg.  I got lost coming back from his office.  I ended up on some ghettofied cobble stone street.  I actually ended up in the ghetto.  I was scared shitless.  I thought for sure that I was going to get shot.  Luckily I ended up where I was supposed to be.  People were flying past me, swerving in front of me, and just plain driving wrecklessly coming out of the Fort Pitt Tunnels.  Last night when I was driving back down there to pick him up I was driving the speed limit through the tunnels and all of a sudden a white van comes flying up behind me, riding my ass, beeping his horn, and flashing his lights at me.  People are nuts, they are horrible down there.  So he continues to follow me out of the tunnels and through the maze of roads that intertwines the city.  Finally I made it to Matt's office building.  I got there early and as I was sitting there people were walking all over the place.  One kid with red hair, and pasty skin comes walking around the corner talking to himself and waving his hand in the air.  As I saw more kids coming around the corner and I knew that the Art Institute had let out for the night and couldn't wait to see if these kids were just as, if not stranger than when I had went there.  To my surprise they weren't dressed half as bad as a couple of years ago.  One kid on a cell phone walked past my car talking so much slang that I literally couldn't understand what he was saying.  Finally I heard him say "hold on, my mom's beeping in."  I just scratched my head trying to figure out what had just happened.  A couple of minutes later two cleaning personel came down the stairs from the office.  One was carrying an old, dirty vacuum.  I watched as they walked to their cadillac and stuffed the vacuum in the back seat, then get in the font seats  As they sped off the back end of the car went down a little.  I couldn't help but laugh b/c the whole thing reminded me of some scene from a movie.  After that a little old man came walking past my car and spit on the sidewalk right beside my passenger door, then just looked at me like I was some alien from outerspace. 

I've been to the city a couple of times and this stuff isn't half as bad.  I can't help but wonder, does the city do something to people?  Does it alter their brains?  I know for sure that I will never live in the city.

Toodles!

It has taken me three tries to type this thing.  My computer has been so screwy that I couldn't even get on it.  I spent the morning fixing it.  Well, I've been busy lately.  I got my car on Sunday and on Monday I got a job.  Woohoo!  I start this coming Monday.  I can't wait.  Tuesday sucked b/c Matt and I are just getting worse.  The bitch is starting shit again.  She told Matt that I called her this weekend and that she is going to call the cops.  I'm really heated about this b/c he believed her.  So I decided that when I go to my grandparents house tomorrow I'm going to get my grandpap's lawyer's number and see if I can do anything about this.  If she calls the cops then I'm definately going to jail b/c of me punching her the last time.  Then my life will be over.  I'm not taking this anymore.  She's 32 years old and she needs to grow the fuck up.  The worst thing that she did was mess with me.  I don't take shit and I don't run to the cops, I handle it myself.  Don't start shit if you can't finish it!  Plain and simple!  Matt and I had a long discussion about the whole thing last night.  He wanted to know why I was so mad.  So I had to explain it to him even though he was there.  Short version:  Matt and I dated for a couple of months, broke up and he got with her then I ended up getting Matt back and she got pissed.  She started rumors at work and told the managers that I was harassing her and I got fired.  Intentionally they let her stand out front while I went out front waiting for my ride, so I grabbed her hair, punched her in the back of the head, then lifted her head back up and punched her in the face and she called the cops.  She knew that she couldn't take me.  I'm a fighter and not one to mess with.  Ever since then she still starts her shit.  Matt says that she doesn't want him so I always have to ask why she is saying things to him about me that aren't even true?  I never did anything.  Everyone says "what comes around, goes around."  Ok, then why is life shitting on me and going great for her?  The more I think about it the more I get pissed and just want to really fuck her up.  When I was working, I worked the same shift as she did and Matt worked the night shift and no matter what I did she watched me and told Matt what I did the whole day.  If I would get on my cell phone she would tell Matt that I was talking to a guy.  Ok bitch, how in the fuck do you know who I'm talking to?  Matt keeps telling me to get over it but I just can't.  I usually can get over stuff pretty easy but for some reason I can't with this one.  She went to far getting me fired from my job, starting rumors, and saying things to Matt that weren't true.  Because I got fired, it took me longer to get my car, I have harrassment charges (b/c of the punch and b/c I supposedly harrassed her at work) on my record so I can't get a decent job, so now I have to work three jobs for a couple of months, get back on my feet in my own apartment, save some money, then go back to school so that I can get a decent job, and I had to put a hold on my student loan b/c I couldn't pay it and b/c I was getting such a big income tax return they took out 75% of the check to pay the loan.  People keep saying its the past but what they don't realize is what I have went through this whole time.   With that job I had great benefits, great pay (I could get my own apartment and get a new car), paid vacation and paid sick days, had 6 call off days a year paid, and worked monday-friday 8-4:30.  Why in the hell would I risk loosing all that over some whiney bitch?  That's what noone understands.  If I had a problem with her then I would have followed her after work one day and took care of it, not on company property.  It's pretty pathetic that a 32 year old wants a 28 year old.  It's also pretty pathetic that she's that old and still doesn't have anyone and still lives with her parents. 

Ok, I totally got off the subject of what I wanted to talk about and now I can't even remember what I wanted to blog about.  Hmmm.  Maybe I'll remember later.

Toodles!

Well, I talked to my dad yesterday (Saturday) and he said I should have my car tomorrow (Sunday).  He said that the car needed new cylinders and a new battery.  I'm so irritate with my aunt right now b/c she only said that the car needed new brakes but actually it needed, new brakes, new cylinders, a new battery, and the window is broken.  I have to call my dad this afternoon to see what's going on. 

Aubrey came over earlier and stayed for a couple of hours.  We played skip-bo, had some coffee and some other stuff.  I taught her how to begin to crochet b/c she wants to learn.  She took a couple of my hooks, a skein of yarn, and my book when she left.  Her mouthed dropped when she saw me.  She said that I'm wasting away.  She said  that she couldn't believe how much weight I've lost since she last saw me.  That made me feel good especially with as much excercising that I've been doing lately.  My friend Shawn keeps bothering Aubrey to tell me to call him b/c he doesn't want to call me b/c he's affraid that Matt will get mad even though I told him that Matt wouldn't get mad.  I haven't talked to Shawn in a couple of months.  We've been friends since we were "knee high to a grasshopper".  I can't wait to talk to him.  Well, I guess I'd better split.  Once again it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm not tired. 

Toodles!

Well, It's 1:30 and I'm once again not in the least bit tired.  Its Saturday so I gotta make sure to call my dad later to see what's going on with the car.  I don't even really have anything to say but I'm bored.  I would loved to have went out tonight but Matt didn't go to bed last night and he had to be at work at 8am so he has slept all night since he got home from work.  He actually just got up and hour ago.  I did some aerobic excercising tonight.  I only did 30mins though cause I was in pain from last night or else I would have went for way longer.  Matt and I are going on a hike in the morning.  Don't really want to go with him, rather go by myself but hey, its excercising.  Need all that I can get.  Ooh, I just remember there is beer in the fridge and some other good stuff so I'm jumping off here.  I can't believe that I forgot about that.

Toodles!

I have a new obsession; excercising.  I can't get enough of it.  Today I worked on the treadmill, my strider, sit ups, push ups, lifted weights, worked on my butt, my calves, and my inner and outer thighes.  I really pushed myself today.  I didn't eat anything at all today and then I started excercising.  I put on a sweatshirt, sweatpants, heavy socks, but before I did that I wrapped myself in saran wrap, shut the door in the computer room and turned up the heat.  I pushed myself so hard that I got light headed, got sick and almost passed out.  I am determined to get back to the way I used to look no matter what it takes.  I'm no longer going to eat my soup anymore, and not eating meat.  I'm going to live off of veggies and fruit.  I'm gonna buy a bikini and hang it up in here.  I'm gonna buy magazines and hang up different excercises that I can do and print pictures of really hot girls and hang them up all over the place (I'm not gay but it'll push me to get thin again).  I just emailed Matt and asked him if he wanted to excercise with me when he gets home tonight but he told me that I shouldn't do anymore tonight.  This weekend I going and buying roller blades b/c my friend told me that she would go roller blading with me.  I'm also gonna go and buy a Tae Bo video b/c I lost mine, Hit the Spot Abs b/c I also lost that one too,  and some other workout videos.  I'm completely determined and absolutely nothing is going to change my mind.

Toodles!

I weighed myself earlier and woohoo, I lost 15 pounds.  I've been sticking to my diet, eating right, taking vitamins and exercising.  Lately though, I've been walking on the treadmill with very high heels on and me completely wrapped in saran wrap.  I am so happy.  I've felt so much better.  My complexion is better, my hair is shinier and I have so much energy.  If only I can stop smoking now. 

I have been up for two days now and I'm still not tired.  I hate this.  Everytime I get my sleep schedule back on track, it goes out of wack again.  I think I traumatized the momma cat this morning.  She decided that she wanted to clean the littler box and by doing that involved major pushing of the litter of which she flung shit all over the floor and then she decided to jump up on the counter and walk around.  I knew she was in the bathroom and when I didn't hear her anymore I got up to see what she was doing and saw her on the counter.  I grabbed her up and sprayed Bitter End in her mouth and then yelled at her.  You would think that she has learned by now b/c all of the times that I sprayed her and Toby with water to get off the counters.  Now everytime I move, even to just grab a cig, she takes off running.  I think that I have them on a schedule b/c every Sunday I scrub the litter box and lately I haven't had too b/c I bought a new kind of litter that works great, but I still clean it out every day and pour more litter in it to keep it at 4 inches.  So now if the litter box isn't scrubbed on Sunday's that's when she starts her shit.  Having these cats makes me feel like the house is always dirty.  I make sure to keep them clean and I go through so much bleach cleaning the counters and the bathrooms.  Okay, I think this blog is long enough.

Toodles!

Its like almost 6am and I'm not in the least bit tired.  This sucks.  I'm going to get some recent pics of me on here soon, hopefully today. I talked to my dad yesterday and he couldn't fix my car.  He couldn't do it last week b/c it was cold outside.  He had surgery on his neck and he has a metal piece in it so he can't be in the cold too long or he gets in real pain.  He couldn't do it this weekend b/c he's been sick so he told me that he'll try to get it done this coming weekend b/c he knows how much I've been looking forward to it.  I'm not mad though.  I'm not going to make him work out in the cold with his neck and him being sick.  Everything's better b/c I found out how much I'm getting on my tax return so everything will be gravy for a couple of months.  I'm still going to get a job as soon as I get the car though. 

After the game tonight, Matt and I went to the store and I bought some yarn and hazelnut scented candles.  The whole apartment smells so good right now.  It nice and warm in here, its so clean, and its snowing like crazy outside.  After we got back I started cleaning like crazy.  I scrubbed both of the bathrooms, ran the vaccuum in all the rooms, dusted, did the dishes, and took apart all of the light fixtures and scrubbed them, then checked all of them and replaced the bulbs that were blown out.  I don't know what my problem has been lately.  I can't get the house clean enough (no I'm not pregnant).  The other night I scrubbed the bedroom and moved it around.  It seems much cozier now.  Well, I gotta go.

Toodles!

We got another one for the thumb!  Woohoo!  Steelers are the shit.  Pittsburgh is one crazy party town tonight.  Sucks that I can't go to the parade on Tuesday.  So bummed but happy that they won.  I really thought in the beginning that they were going to loose but they really made a come back.  Bettis unfortunately announced that he was going to retire.  No more Bus for Pittsburgh.  After the game everyone in the neighborhood started yelling in the streets, honking their horns, shooting guns, and setting off fireworks.  Of course I was out there too.  lol.  Well I'm going to bed.

Toodles! 

Ok, I used to write all the time when I was in high school but after I graduated I stopped.  I used to be really good.  I just thought of a poem, which I've never done before.  I'm not much of a poet at all, but I need to put my writings somewhere so that noone will find them here at the house.

When you came back, you said it was meant to be
but i knew everything would still be the same
you told me that you loved me
but what was I to gain?
i took you back
and in such a short time my world turned black
i was in so much pain
that my life fell apart
now here i am wondering
who will pick up the pieces of my heart?

Yea, I know its horrible but its my best poem.

Toodles!

My dad calls me today to tell me that he took the car to the house and that he checked it over.  He said that the brake line broke and he can't fix it till this coming wknd.  I am going to lose this car before I even get to drive it.  My ins is due on Feb. 27.  I know that I'm not going to have a paycheck by then.  I'm on state insurance so I absolutely cannot be late on any payments or they will drop me.  If that happens I'm screwed b/c I can't get any other insurance.  Every time things start to look up for me something like this happens.  Leprechauns are supposed to give people luck, good or bad, depending on their intentions and I think that they think its funny to just keep giving me bad luck.  I was so excited about this and something just had to happen.  I try to look on the bright side of things but it never works.  No matter what I do, things just keep going downhill for me.  I'm just about to give up on everything.  I just can't keep taking this anymore.  I'm exhausted.  This is just, I don't even know the word for it.  I just don't know how much longer that I can do this.

Toodles!

I am so excited right now.  I got my car today.  Well, I got the insurance, and title xfrd.  The car needs new brakes so my dad is going to put them on tomorrow and then bring the car over here.  First thing monday, I'm going job hunting.  It felt like a ton of weight was lifted off my shoulders today.  I'm so much more relaxed right now.  Things are finally turning around. 

Tonight is the big Steelers pep rally.  All the Steelers are down there in Pittsburg right now.  Poverty Neck Hillbillies played earlier.  Pittsburgh was so crazy today.  It took forever for people to get into the city.  There were even people down there last night camping out.  The news said that 62% of the people questioned said that the Steelers are going to win the superbowl.  The funny thing is is that a lot of those people are from Seattle.  We'll see what happens.  Hopefully the Steelers win.

Toodles!

I am so fucking tired of these new neighbors and these kids around the neighborhood.  Every day the kids come in front of the apartment building and ride their skatboards and do all kinds of crazy shit.  One time they even hits Matt's truck.  There are private property signs on the building, the lady in the next building over has said something to them, i have said something to them, and the landlord said something to them.  Every once in awhile the cops get called on them but they still don't listen.  They brought a video recorder over today and taped me yelling at them.  I told them that they didn't scare me and there is no way possible that I can get in trouble, so I kept yelling.  I told them to make sure that they get the private property sign in the video too.  The one day they said that they were going to call the cops on me b/c I'm on the property.  Another time they said that they couldn't read and didn't know what cops were.  Fucking littles shits!  As for these new neighbors, they are assholes.  Our building looks like a huge house so theres an apartment one one side, one in the middle and one on the other side.  We live on one side and hers is on the other side (the middle one is empty still) and I can hear their music loud and clear.  She always has people coming over, pulling in the parking lot with their music blasting, and taking up the whole parking lot.  Her dog is always outside barking and she doesn't even do anything about it.  I'm guessing that she thinks she is in the country or that she's the only damn person that lives here.  I already said something to them once but it didn't stop.  Bitch!  The landlord is driving me nuts too.  There are a total of 5 apartments in this building, 3 around the front that have two floors, and 2 in the back (all the way on the ground) that have 1 floor, so when I'm dowstairs in the living room all I can feel is myself moving b/c the landlord is always slamming doors and she lives right below me.  I just can't get any peace.  I miss the country!  Ok, I'm done bitching.

Toodles!

Yesterday it was really cold and windy outside.  Last night Aubrey calls me and tells me that we are going to get a bad storm.  After an hour it started thundering, lightening, and snowing.  It was so weird.  I thought that the lights were going to go off so I got some candles and a flashlight.  Aubrey came over for awhile and we played skip-bo and drank coffee.  I finally have a witness that can back me up that something is in this house.  When she first got here we were sitting in the living room and she heard walking around upstairs so I proceeded to tell her what has happened the last couple of wks along with the last couple of days.  The other night I was laying in bed, the momma cat was laying at my feet and Toby chased something black and round across the hallway, then the next night I saw something move behind the door in the computer room and then saw something move at the bottom of the bed on the floor, it wasn't the cats b/c they were laying beside me.  She was freaking out.  After awhile we didn't hear anything.  I'm fine during the day b/c nothing happens.  Its only at night that I hear and see things.  Everyone thinks that I'm going nuts but I swear that I'm not.  Oh well, I know what I see and hear.  I watched American Idol for the first time last night and just laughed my butt off.  I was so weird.  Some of those people are just plain horrible.  lol.  Matt got home about 9.  He said that he got off early b/c he thought that someone was here.  He flipped on me.  He checked the phone and asked me what a few of the numbers were.  Of course he knew what they were, (my grandparents, my aunt and my parents home).  He said that numbers were never on there before but if he would just check the dates he would see that they have been on there for awhile.  Its getting so ridiculous.  He didn't believe me one night that a number on the phone was my grandparents so he called them at midnight and ended up waking them up.  So stupid.  I was talking to them at 8 and he was here while I was talking to them.  I am getting so sick of this.  I've been trying to get hold of my aunt to get the car in my name but the kids are always on the computer.  I'm gonna try again tonight.  Hopefully I can get hold of her so I can get the car, get a job and get out of here.  I'm done bitching for now.

Toodles!

She's my kind of rain, like love from a drunken sky, confetti fallin down all night, she my kind of rain were the words that she heard on the radio.  Ironically it was raining outside.  Tears fell down her face as she stood in the middle of the living room dancing, dancing with herself.  He wasn't there holding her, wasn't there to dance with her.  She hadn't heard from him in 3 weeks.  She was scared, worried.  She didn't know if something happened to him and she had no way of finding out.  He never answered his phone, didn't know any of his friends, and his car was never in front of his house.  She sat by the phone everynight, and waited by the door everyday, hoping that he would come walking up to the porch, and back into her life.  They had a terrible fight and they both had said things that they didn't mean.  He left in a rage, tires squealing as he raced away.  Watching him drive away was the hardest thing that she had ever went through.  For 3 long weeks she cried herself to sleep.  She stayed at home, and never answered her phone.  She barely ate.  All she could think about was him.  She wanted him back but she knew that it might not happen.  She knew that the job he was offered would be a great thing in his life.  He had worked so hard in college and now it was finally paying off.  She was selfish and all she could think about was what it would do to their relationship.  She hadn't even given him the chance to explain anything.  All she could think about was him living on the other side of the country, away from her.  The song ended and she was left there, the only sound was the rain falling outside.  She had always loved the rain, always had good memories with hit.  She used to play in it when she was a kid, and it was raining the day they met.  But now she had only sadness when it rained because it rained the day he left.  It was summer so it wasn't very cold outside, so she decided to take a walk.  She didn't take an umbrella, or a rain coat.  It was okay because she knew that noone would know that she was crying.  She walked to the end of her street, made a right and kept walking.  She looked down at the ground as she walked.  All of a sudden she heard a screeching noise and looked up to see what it was.  It was him.  He had stopped in the middle of the street, got out of his car and was running towards her.  He wrapped his arms around her, picked her up and kissed her.  He told her that he was lost without her and that he had only wished that she had given him the chance to explain.  He said "I love you so much, and you know that I wouldn't have went without you."  "I was so angry that you just started yelling instead of letting me explain, that I got angry as well."  She told him that she was sorry but that she didn't want to loose him.  That's when he got down on one knee and proposed.  She said yes.  There they were, standing in the rain, wrapped in eachother's arms, kissing eachother, and never wanting to let go. 

I just got inspired.  I used to write all the time but I think that I've lost my touch.

Toodles!

Woohoo!  Steelers won!  34-17  In 2 wks we're gonna be in Detroit kicking someone's ass.  The other game starts at 6:30 so we'll find out who the Steeler's are playing. 

Toodles!

Well, we're finally going to find out if the Steelers are going to the superbowl today.  Game starts at 3.  T-2 1/2 hours.  I just can't wait.  If they win today, Pittsburg is going to be one crazy town tonight.

Cower Power will get the job done....................Pittsburgh's gonna bring that steel curtain down!

Toodles!